I think I would still want to go to his pinning ceremony.

That thought scares me, like why do I want to do this? Very first feeling is that I’m just really proud of him and I wanna be there for him. I think this means more to him than he leads on. But then again, why do I always assume I know what he’s feeling? Clearly I don’t.

I’m afraid there might be manipulative motives behind this. What am I trying to prove here? What would this really do or change? Am I hoping this does or changes anything? Why do I want to do this?