I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything worthwhile today, or in the last couple of weeks. I feel so stuck. I’m trying to be gentle with myself but I also feel this overwhelming need to move something — anything — forward. I realize most things are out of my control, but I think I’ve been so used to things just magically falling into place by small actions I’ve taken that not getting that gratification has been deflating. It’s important for me to feel useful and needed. But why? I have value even if I don’t accomplish anything. It’s so strange how much of our self-worth is tied to what we put out into the world. Fortunately I’ve moved away from the mindset of “I need to always produce and contribute any and everything or else I am useless” but there’s this deeper ache I’m feeling.

This is all part of my work. I gotta chill out and let the pieces fall where they may.

Just a lady (she/her) who thought she knew what she was doing, only to find she hadn’t even scratched the surface.